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Just Daily School Life...

okay, school was like bleh today.....
this girl at school, we're suppose to be friends, but i really can't say we're friends anymore. i honestly get tired of her bull-crap. all she does is talk about her, when someone wants to talk about something that happened to them, she changes it and goes back to her. seeelllfffiiissshhh.....
In the beginning of the new year(2010), she tried to call me a poser cause i was taking art classes this semester and i wasn't quit sure what to do in sculpture or commercial art, but thats why you take it, to learn. she says i was trying to be like her. HA HA HA! i've taken art classes since pre-k. i've wanted to be a cartoon artist since i was 7, before that i wanted to be a vet. =P but she just started taking art 1 our sophomore year and she said she just talked the whole time.
i love how she thinks people wants to be like her. hello...no one does. (sorry thats rude but that poser thing still makes me mad) unti this year(junior yr.) she started to dress punk, before that she was nothing but hick. and i've been dressing emo/skater/punk, or whatever since 8th grade.  she's getting on mine and others nerves, i guess they just put up with her, i tune her out. i guess when she played a sport, she tried to hang out with that crowd and they didn't want to hang with her. thats what i was told.
she talks bad about this one girl and says how she hates being around her, then the next day she's hanging with her. i hate people who are like that. really.....
today-morning:
her: hey they're gonna paint the windows black for the party =D
me:yea, i told you that a week ago. :)
her:no you didn't
me: yes i did. :]
her:no
me:yes(it kept going on like that for 10 more seconds)
me: you was prolly on your cell texting or on the net. =](she always is, anyone can tell you that, she's either texting or on facebook or twitter)
her:i'm not always on there.
me:yea you are. :P
her: no -.-
then she runs off and goes talks about me. how childish. the face expressions are how our face were. she says we were arguingor fighting. we wasn't. she said i had an attitude, she doesn't know attitude, i can show her attitude. i'm evil. trust me, i am. i've held everything in me before, until last year, i stopped, i can't take it anymore. i'm tired of people talking about me, when i haven't done anything, so they can have something to talk about. lame. esp her. when someone asks her whats wrong...shes like nothing...then she tells you about it. ugh she makes me angry yet it makes me laugh.

sorry people, i had to vint
tell me, you've had this problem before too...right? everyone has friendship trouble
i can't wait to go to college because i don't have to see people anymore. just the ones i want to see. alot of them can go off the face of the earth and i couldn't care less. the only thing that scares me is moving out of state and the money problem. bleck.
i'm supper sorry God but i'm just angry.

thats my opinion from
a stress out annoyed dork


I don't understand?


i don't understand why life is the way it is for me. lives are so difficult in this world, and nobody is making it easy for us.....do you get it?
i hate coming home every day from school hearing how we can't afford the bills here, how things are prolly getting shut off, or when the bills are caught up, the stupid idiotic people around here still shut it off. Things are just getting to expensive anymore. teens wanna keep up with the latest trends but they can't because it cause to much! even when the stores have sales it's still to much. geez....when are people gonna realize small towns don't offer many jobs, and some people couldn't afford to go to college or wasn't raised to believe that they could make something of themselves so they're working 5 jobs to keep up with the rent or just to buy them something that would look nnice to wear on a special occasion.
i come home everyday hearing how my mom calls herself worthless, i can't handle it. with all my stress from school, worrying about the ACTs' and then hoping and trying to make sure my mom doesn't hurt herself.
mom's out there, tell me; is life hard for you? trying to provide for you and your kids, hoping your kids doesn't hate you for not beable to get them much. i know how you feel, i see my mom go through that everyday. i hate seeing her like that. moms' don't be affraid of telling your kids the reason why you can't get them much. my mom always told us that, you kids know why i can't get you these toys, we're like yea mom. it breaks her heart, i'm sure. but it's okay we can handle it. it's not your fault that some people have the money to do things in life that we cannot; it's okay. as long as we have eachother.
i know i know, love is very important, the most important ingredient of all, but it just doesn't keep a roof over our heads and our stomachs full.
to all the moms' && the dads' (too, cause they try their hardest)out there, i'm sure i can say this for all the kids and teens: we love you and we're behind you 100%.

Woulda Shoulda Coulda had a Life.....

wow, what a life, i'm sure people has had worse than i. when they say "life's not faire" they surely mean it.
Okay i'm just a small town girl, living in zanesville, OH. and yes i'm gonna give the city and state. this is a place that i wish i could get away from, how much this town has hurt my family so. lying, cheating, decieving, these are the words i think of when i hear about this town.

this is my story.......(watch out, it's kinda long, i'll try to make it short, lol)

A few years ago, my mom got surgery done, a tumor was taken out. she was on bed rest for a few weeks. her job knew it, so they said she can have the time off. as soon as my mom gets off, they fire her, because she hasn't been to work for a while. she worked at a nursing home(not the greatest). actually, she was one of the few, that i knew, who loved to work. so i guess she had some money that she was suppose to get, from all those years she's been working there, which was about $8,000. she got 2 jobs while fighting to get that money. the reason for fighting?.....the lawyers stole it. -.- so she got a new lawyer, sewed the old...and all that crap. she took on another job, taking care of my great-aunt(which was living with my great-grandpa(his daughter)). she took care of her in-between jobs. still fighting to get our money. guess what?....the lawyers stole her money, this has been going on since my freshman summer, and i'm a junior going to be a senior this coming fall.  my mom took on a 4th job, working midnight shifts, i barely saw her. i didn't see her in the mornings, when i left for school, when i got off of school i saw her changing to go back to her other job, and she gave me money to order supper. (my supper was around 4pm) then after she came back from her third job, which was between 7-8pm. she had an hr to spare, and then got ready for her last job. then start all over again around 4am. i love her to death, she was a hard working mother just trying to keep up with the bills and making sure i had a roof over my head and food to keep my stomach full. but sadly her 4th job didn't work out because she started throwing up, she had to quit because it made her sick. her other jobs still kept us up with the bills, for a bit. we couldn't make rent and got kicked out. we found another place, we haven't even lived in it for a year. when my stepdad got out of jail(back child-support, wasn't even his fault, but that a different story) he helped us out when he was able too, he's a mechanic, didn't get payed much. we took our 4 dogs and our ferret, we was off to our new home. we was doing good for a while, and yess still fighting for our money. it's added up to alot. this is my sophomore year too, we moved in the winter, and its up to spring. my great-aunt had just died, which left my mom out of her 3rd job. {great-grandpa didn't want to take care of her, or pay for the nursing home, so he payed my mom some money. wasn't much, but it helped out and she loved her aunt. my great-aunt hated her dad. he's nothing but a greedy old man, who never ever took care of his family, if he did anything, it was to make himself look good. when my great aunt was little, he pushed her down the stairs, and then before she died, she fell out of her wheel-chair and she couldn't get back up. he knew about it, left her up stairs for 3 days, without any food or water, laying in her waste. how do i know this. my great-uncle(her brother) found that out for himself when he went to visit her. nothing was done to great-grandpa, my mom cashed like a thusand dollar check for him, she brought it back to him.} a month after she died, my great-grandpa got my mom taken to jail for something she didn't even do. he said she took his money. -.- she didn't, if so we wouldn't of gotten kicked out of our house we just moved into. (we werent out yet, we got sometime to when we have to be out) she couldn't afford a good lawyer, we had the worst lawyer. never liked him, when i first met him. he said "I get paid whether we win or lose." my mom was like "wouldn't you want to get paid more for winning." i'm thinking hell yea, and how can you get her sent to jail, you didn't even try. laziness, that's pretty much this town. when she got out, we had to move. we had no where to go. my mom lost her jobs, and no one would hire her. our stuff was taken to my step-dads sister's house, put in the basement and was locked. my dogs were taken to my step-sisters house, my ferret to my dad's. we stayed in a trashy hotel for like 2-3 weeks. then we lived in our truck. school was approaching in about a week. i asked my aunt donna if we could stay with her.(she's not biologically related to us, but my mom's besty since they were teens). we hate asking people for help, but i couldn't see us like this. we stayed there for a couple of weeks. we stayed in my aunts granddaughter's room. parents slept on the kiddie bed, i slept on the floor. we found a place. it was horrible, frightening! we moved to a trailor park, in the most disguesting trailor ever. trailors' didn't bug me, because my biological dad used to live in one, but it was nice. then he moved closer into town and got a nice house. but while my parents and i lived in that trashy trailor.....we were miserable. we was still fighting for our money, we was starting to lose hope. it's the beginnin of my junior year and i transferred back to my old high school from vocational school. that trailor wasn't safe, the heat barely worked, and when it did, it was dangerous, and it could of caught the place on fire, the water didn't work at all. the carpets were so nasty, but thats all we could afford. the lan-lady was old and didn't likme us, when she found out that my step-dad was black. she never would help us out, she didn't even fix up the trailor. we are still fighting for our money, through the past year, bankers, lawyers, cops, the judge, in this town and in this state, have stolen our money. we are up to $600 million dollars. soon we couldn't afford the rent, and got a new place. its winter, and the place is like a mexican house. i love it. C: i love mexicans. =P we're still living here to this day. still fighting for our money, it's like hope is not even on our side. i'm looking for a job now, cause my mom cannot get one, she's still trying too. she really is, she's my best friend and i hate seeing her like this. it tears me apart. i hate seeing her call her-self worhless. saying that she's trying but its getting hard for her to support us. :C i haven't for a few months but ever since we've been having this awful luck, i would cut myself. i still see the scars left on my wrist, it reminds me of all the pain and suffering we went through. life is getting hard for us right now, i'm about to be a senior. i have to get a 30 on the ACTs' to get my honors diploma, i have to get my class ring, senior pics, braces(which i really need badly, my teeth are awful), i need to save money for a car, for driving school, which is over $300. i need money for college, which is going to be over $100,000. why is life getting to be so hard.

Mom i promise, when i becom a cartoon artist, and i'm rich, i'll buy you everything that you deserve and the things you never got in life, even as a child. i love you and lets try to keep hope, maybe we'll get that money soon.

Questions?
o1.) why didn't i stay with my bilogical dad instead?
i love him dearly, i do, but i'm not abandoning my mom when she needs me the most

o2.) where's our animals? we aren't able to have our dogs, it's been almost a year since we've seen them, and we don't have a vehicle anymore. although or ferret is small snough for us to hide. C:

o3.) how do i get to school? i walk, and its a long ass walk.
any questions that i can answer......just ask.

o4.) from being so stressed, has anything gone wrong with your body? yes, my body isn't functioning great, to me. i've been gaining weight, haven't had a monthly gift for 4 months, so i've been put on birth control. -.- no i'm not sexual active, or pregnant. i'm a virgin. C: lmao just to let you know.

this is my life story, still stressing out.
from the one and only stressed out dork.


Job Findings?


why doesn't everything have to feel so black and blue.?. why does being a teenager have to be so stressful.?. i know that adults have plenty of stress too, we're the same, alot of adults are going back to school to get a decent job because all the other jobs are crap, and then all those crappy jobs get put on us teens who need to make alot of money to go to college.

how does that even work anyways?

every teen trying to search for a job can't because the jobs either serve alcohol or they involve you working behind a greasy stove making disgusting fried food. the malls' don't offer you up jobs because most of the time, you have to have work experience, how can you have work experience in a clothing store, when the only other job you may possibly have had was working with food. oh yea, clothes and greasy food make a great combination.

ha ha, isn't that just great.!.

all we want to do is earn money to help pay for our cars, car insurance, college, bills to help pay when their parents don't have much because they also have low paying jobs, and a little extra for yourself, is that to much to ask for?

to much stress even for one person to handle,
 

well that's my opinion and the only thing i could think of at this point.
sincerely,
a stressed out dork.* =P


A Difference?


Is there really a difference between us regular people and celebrities.?. Well besides that they earn big bucks and they're everywhere in the news media. Everything that they do, is earned from us, without us, there would be no popularity for them. How come no one celebrates ordinary human beings for the accomlishments that they do in their everyday life.?.

Everytime a teenager gets excited for seeing their favorite star on television....do you ever think to yourself...why am I so crazed about them? They don't know me, they don't care about me, so why should I even care about them? I say that alot now, don't get me wrong, I still go crazy everytime I here about my favorite celeb. I just still wander why I do that. ???

It's so weird, that how all these celebs talk about being losers in school, and how they was always looked down upon, it must feel great to show those people up, but even though you say that you love all of us, your great fans, in reality you don't. In fact most of you hate us? It's like now that your famous, wealthy and got everything that you desire, you look down upon us, not realizing we're just as important as you are. I mean there are some celebs that actually care about us normies. So my question is to all who are the celebs that just don't care, is there really a difference between us?

But that's just what I think, and the only thing I could think of at this moment, my head is pounding completely, and that message above is from a stressed out dork's opinion is from the poor side.....a.k.a I am truly poor, been homeless before too, so yea. bye-bye for now. C:


Writer's Block: Googling Myself

lol. yes i have googled myself, but I could never find any information about me. I guess thats a good thing though, people won't be in your buisness, and cannot steal anything of yours. The only thing I could find was a Indian Tribe, that doesn't surprise me at all, they're more famous than me. =P